Gender Dysphoria & Euphoria 101

TW -MENTION OF MENTAL HEALTH DIFFICULTIES AND SUICIDAL TENDENCIES

So I mentioned in my post about being trans in the UK that dysphoria is a thing that exists, so I thought I’d go into more detail about what exactly it is, my personal experience of it, and a few tips about dealing with it. I also completely forgot to mention gender euphoria, which I will also explain here, but a little further down.

This is the definition of gender dysphoria according to the American Psychological Association — the big boys in the psychology world. In short, dysphoria is a strong sense of discomfort and/or incongruence with your assigned gender at birth (AGAB — what it says on your birth certificate). There’s a lot of different ways that dysphoria is experienced, like the examples given in the APA definition. Some people get dysphoria when they’re a kid, some people (like me) don’t get it until puberty, or even later than that. It can be really difficult to put the feeling of dysphoria into words. Gods know that I’ve tried and failed a million times, but I’m hoping that I’ll be able to make some kind of sense when I describe it here.

There are a couple of different kinds of dysphoria. I can’t give sources because it’s from an amalgamation of my own experience and several Instagram/Reddit/Facebook/Twitter/TikTok things but here’s the general gist of it:

1 — Body Dysphoria.
What is it?This is usually the biggie for most trans people. It’s the discomfort/disconnect from your body, or more specifically the secondary sex characteristics of your AGAB that your body has. In the case of trans masculine people, who are Assigned Female At Birth (AFAB), that usually means discomfort regarding breast growth, periods, and the distinct lack of penis (aka ‘bottom dysphoria’). Some people get dysphoria about all of these areas, others may not. Some people count voice dysphoria as part of body dysphoria, since that’s dictated by a part of your body, but I tend to count it as a separate thing.
How do you deal with it? I can only speak for the trans masculine side of things, but typically trans masc people like myself bind their chest to achieve a flatter look, they may use a packer (a prosthetic penis of varying abilities — that’s another post though) to alleviate bottom dysphoria, and medical transition is *usually* the end goal. This means top surgery (a double mastectomy or affectionatly known as ‘teetus yeetus’), taking testosterone and/or bottom surgery (constructing a penis via metoidioplasty or phalloplasty — again, this will be another post). Not everyone wants every step, not everyone is able to take every step, but that doesn’t make them any less trans.
My experience with body dysphoria is probably a fairly typical one. I despise my chest, so I bind most days and I do plan on getting top surgery eventually. Unfortunately binding makes the summer heat an absolute bitch and can also interfere with my breathing because my chest is on the larger side so there’s a lot to be squished. It means I get out of breath pretty damn fast and will typically walk slower than others to try and avoid feeling like I’m gonna pass out. Periods are no longer a problem for me since starting testosterone, but they were an absolute nightmare for me. I was lucky enough to only ever get short ones, but for at least the first day or two I would usually be borderline suicidal — and that was all stemming from dysphoria. I’m extremely glad that I don’t have to deal with that anymore. I don’t get much bottom dysphoria usually, but I use a foam packer from Paxsies (a trans underwear brand who are LIFESAVERS) tucked into my boxers to alleviate the small amount I do get. If it gets really bad, I also have an actual packer from Free2M Prosthetics that I can use, but it’s a little impractical to use on a daily basis. I don’t plan on getting bottom surgery, because the results aren’t what I want. I can live with my small amount of bottom dysphoria until the results for trans guys improve.

2 — Social Dysphoria. While this might not be THE biggie, it’s still A biggie. What is it? Social Dysphoria is the discomfort that comes with being perceived as the incorrect gender. This one doesn’t actually get limited to trans/non-binary people necessarily — if you’ve ever been mistaken for the opposite sex, chances are you’ve had a slight taste of social dysphoria there.
How do you deal with it? Dressing as your gender identity is one of the main ones, in my opinion. Find clothes that are comfortable and give the illusion of the body shape you want. If you’re trans masculine, look for shirts that are tight on the arms and loose on the chest, and if you have larger hips try boyfriend-cut jeans (apparently they’re pretty good). But always remember — clothes aren’t gendered and you don’t owe anyone the stereotypical masc/fem presentation. Trans masc people can wear skirts and dresses too, and they look hella good in them.
Aside from that, binding and packing can also help with the social dysphoria, as having the flatter chest and um… ‘package’ that a cis guy would makes it less likely that you’ll be mistaken for female. If you can’t afford a packer (they are ridiculously expensive) a pair of socks stuffed in your underwear also works. Testosterone is obviously helpful for lowering your voice, but there are also guides online of how to sound more masculine pre-T if you’re not at that stage yet/can’t take testosterone.
And lastly, coming out does help. If people know that you’re a guy, then they’re more likely to treat and address you as a guy. So if it’s safe to do so, letting people know is always a good idea. If they don’t know, they can’t correct themselves, and they can’t work to make you more comfortable.
My experience with social dysphoria has seriously lessened since I came out and even more so since starting testosterone. It is incredibly rare that I get mistaken for female now, and usually the only time I get social dysphoria is when my body dysphoria is peaking so I get paranoid that others will perceive me as female.

3 — Vocal Dysphoria
What is it? Well it’s what it says on the tin — it’s discomfort about your voice. Again this one isn’t necessarily limited to trans/non-binary people, there are plenty of cis folks who are uncomfortable about sounding too masculine/feminine for their gender identity.
How do you deal with it? I’m afraid there’s not a ton of things that can be done about this one. Starting hormone treatment is the most obvious, as testosterone makes your voice drop, but for those who are pre-T or can’t start T for medical reasons there isn’t much that can be done. As I said earlier, there are guides online to sounding more masculine pre-T, such as learning to speak from your chest, exercises that (supposedly) lower your voice, but things like that can risk damage to your vocal cords, which is not good for anyone.
My experience with vocal dysphoria is also pretty damn typical. Prior to starting testosterone, I hated my voice with a burning passion. I would avoid speaking in class, I would avoid speaking to strangers and every time I opened my mouth I wanted to vomit. Now I’m almost three months on T (which has flown by) and while I’m still not 100% happy with my voice, I’m way more comfortable with it than I used to be. The only thing I’m really hating is that my singing range is practically non-existent now, but that’ll come back with time for my voice to settle and some gentle vocal training.

Now this is Dysphoria and Euphoria 101. I’ve covered a heck of a lot for dysphoria, so now it’s time to focus on the more positive side — gender euphoria. Literally the opposite of dysphoria, this is the happiness and ease associated with being/being perceived as the correct gender. Some studies are suggesting that gender euphoria is actually more of an indicator of being trans than gender dysphoria, but that is very much up in the air. You can get the same kind of euphoria as you get dysphoria, but obviously with the opposite effect. So body euphoria may come from binding and looking flat chested (always a fun time), social euphoria would be being perceived as the correct gender and vocal euphoria would be being happy about the way you sound being in line with your gender identity. Euphoria is definitely a more fun part of being trans than the dysphoria, but the amount of euphoria and/or dysphoria you experience doesn’t dictate ‘how trans you are’. If you identify as a gender aside from your birth sex, you’re trans (or non-binary — again not all non-binary people would describe themselves as trans).

So hopefully this has made dysphoria/euphoria a little more clear, and if I’ve just confused you more I’m really sorry. The next post will either be a day early or a day late, as I have plans on Sunday (my set ‘do your damn blog’ day) which means I won’t be able to do it then. After this week though, it should get back to the regularly scheduled insanity of one post every Sunday.